I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
