I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
