I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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