Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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