HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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