Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
