I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am spending my child support on dildos
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
