good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
