found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
