hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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