i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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