you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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