Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
