Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
