I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
