is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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