So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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