i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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