Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You pole danced in your parka.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize