Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
do herpes really smell.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
