Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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