My boss' voice literally gives me gas
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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