When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
