apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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