If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
