guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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