doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
