were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
