so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
