I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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