when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
