it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
