***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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