Buhtt sex?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
