I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
