I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
