Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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