3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
