Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
