party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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