sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
