My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
FUCK WHALES
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