Need sex. Gaining weight.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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