I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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