actually, I'm a sock model
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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