Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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