who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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