Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
