my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
