And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
