me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
