I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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