This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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