SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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