Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
