We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
