Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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