people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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