Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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