College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
