I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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