I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
