You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
