I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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