your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
