After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
not ubering you a puppy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
