So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Are we still banned from the library?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
