You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
