im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
