Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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