guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
