Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
