So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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