we made out on top of his cat.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
